Stop Running Away - It's Time To Lean In And Do The Work #221

Have you ever felt the magnetic pull of a dream, so potent yet seemingly out of reach?

Same, friend. Same.

And yet...

What if we're not clear on that dream?  What if we're simply stuck in survival mode? Then what?

I'll answer that question and more on this episode.  Action is necessary to bring clarity. Don't underestimate the micro-actions.  They work. It's time to transform your dissatisfaction into a clear statement of faith - that belief and hope for things which you cannot yet see. It's time for clarity and direction - exactly what you'll find in this week's drop. 

If you need someone to help you see more clearly, consider working with me.  Take the Empowerment Quiz to find out exactly where you're at right now.  Head on over to stepfamilypodcast.com/WorkWithJen to get started.

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Be strong, and let your heart be courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord.
Psalm 31:24

Transcript

Jen Rogers : 0:00

I grew up in a larger home in a place then known as the Village of Whiting, a small town, a spot between the city of Stevens Point and the town of Plover in central Wisconsin. I don't drive by the house where I grew up anymore when I travel back there to see family. It feels like a different life to me now. It's not that I want to forget, it is simply void of nostalgia for me. Memories, however, are quite different Making tunnels in ginormous snowbanks with my sister Kat and getting in trouble for taking blankets from the house into the tunnel to make a home. The feeling of expectation for big holidays, especially Easter. Each year I got a new dress for church. Most of them, as I recall, were sewn by my mom. A cricket on my mom's shoulder down in the laundry room that I was too scared to brush off. Playing ping pong with my dad or pool Friday night. Fish fry dinners with the family during Lent. My dad took great pride in taking his family out to dinner each week. I know I love the ice cream drinks we got to order for dessert.

Jen Rogers : 1:04

During high school. I was miserable, directionless and bored to tears. I wondered is this all there is to life? I graduated early from high school, had a full-time job flipping burgers and fries, and grew more dissatisfied with life in the village of Whiting. I didn't seem to fit in. My decisions became based on what I wanted to avoid instead of what I wanted to pursue. Case in point joining the Army. My brother had joined the Navy years earlier. Yet I never envisioned the military for me, but it was a way for me to get out of the town. I was in, so I enlisted. Can you relate? Perhaps you find yourself dissatisfied with where you are and you're not quite sure what you want, but you certainly know what you don't want. I'm not suggesting you enlist in the military to go in a new direction. Instead, I'm inviting you to think about what you really want. In this episode you'll answer the question what do I want to run towards? And, yes, we'll take a brief look at what you might be running from, but we'll use that as intel to help you more clearly learn what you want to pursue. When you know what you want, you can create the steps to go get it. When you know what you want, you can create the steps to go get it.

Jen Rogers : 2:25

The mission of the Empowered Stepmom podcast is to equip you to enjoy your stepmama journey. Here you'll learn the importance of implementing boundaries that will work for you. You'll acquire tools to co-parent successfully and apply biblical wisdom in your home so you can deal with those difficult in-laws, outlaws and exes. Hey there, I'm Jen Rogers, certified Professional Life Coach, keynote Speaker and Bible Teacher. For the first few years of my stepmom journey, I forced things and I avoided things, and I certainly did not create a vision for who I wanted to become. Frankly, I was too wrapped up in all the stress of an identity crisis and feeling like an outsider in my own home. It took me several years before I finally broke free from all the anxiety, diving into God's word and implementing tools I created because I couldn't find help anywhere else. Now I help stepmoms conquer imposter syndrome for good so they can stop wrestling with things out of their control and start investing their time, money and energy into their dreams.

Jen Rogers : 3:33

If you are curious how all of this works, it's so easy to begin to learn what to do next. Head on over to stepfamilypodcastcom. Forward slash work with Jen. Click on the button to take the empowerment quiz and I guarantee you will gain some insights about what is so ding dang hard about your journey right now and what you might be able to do to move forward, because the work that we do together is private and intimate and sacred holy work. The number of private clients are limited to a very small number. Each month, head on over to stepfamilypodcastcom. Forward slash work with Jen to see if we're a good fit.

Jen Rogers : 4:18

All right, let's get started with episode number 221 of the Empowered Stepmom Podcast. I am so thankful that you have put me in your earbuds today. Let's get to it. How would you describe your risk tolerance? What degree of risk are you willing to endure? The risk of settling or staying right where you are might seem low, after all. You're comfortable. You know what to expect. You've developed some coping skills, even if they're not so healthy. You know avoidance, the silent treatment, binge eating or drinking. You cope with the same old, same old because of your risk tolerance. If it feels or sounds too risky, you'd rather stay put In 2020,.

Jen Rogers : 5:07

When I started the Empowered Stepmom podcast, it was risky. The early episodes were more of a rambling than a clarifying teaching tool of hope. My interviews with special guests lasted way too long and I got hung up on infusing tons of metaphors which I've learned, detracted from the message. In other words, I failed miserably at my initial efforts. How do I know these things? Well? Metrics, downloads were extraordinarily low, the episodes were too long, I wasn't using search engine optimization SEO for short. Essentially, I wasn't leaving breadcrumbs for you to find me when you searched for stepmom resources. Social seems so overwhelming to me and when I went there I always ended up getting sucked in and I certainly never got delighted in my email when receiving a note from you when you share how the podcast impacts, how you see your important role as a stepmom. Yet here I am, 221 episodes later.

Jen Rogers : 6:10

I started even though it was risky, even though this entrepreneurial hostess was really more of an accidental entrepreneur True story I was literally frightened of clicking on an RSS feed because I thought it would infect my computer with a virus. Now I know RSS stands for really simple syndication. In other words, you're able to listen to me because this RSS feed pushes it out to your app. I don't have to understand the how it all works. I just need to know the tool to use to make it happen.

Jen Rogers : 6:42

It's no different with our vision when we take the time to think about what we really want. We don't need to know the how. We need to know the what For me at the time, the what was starting a podcast, the what For me at the time, the what was starting a podcast, the how came one episode at a time. Hear me on this. Are you listening? If you're multitasking, come on back to me. Pause a moment. In between swiffering, shifting laundry loads and debating between ordering takeout or making meatloaf, listen, I love a good meatloaf, but I vote for the time-saving takeout, especially if it's sushi. Back to the how. Seriously, we don't need to know the how. We do need to relinquish enough control to give ourselves permission to make decisions and learn the how as we go. The reality is you're going to fail a lot. We've got to normalize failing. That's where we learn the most and lean most on God's power.

Jen Rogers : 7:38

One other important need you need who's in your life, people who've walked the road ahead of you that can mentor, guide and love you through as you work on your vision. There's a great book my husband, bill, and I read a couple of years ago who, not how the Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork by Dan Sullivan and his who, benjamin Hardy. Let's talk about this vision. Let's go a little bit deeper. When I think of vision, I think of it as a noun, a verb and a challenge. Vision as a noun is really a faith statement. It's something you can see in your mind's eye, but you do not experience it Yet. It's something you hope for. Vision as a verb requires you to do more than talk about it. It requires you taking on comfortable action as you practice using your talents to align with your vision, and vision as challenge. God's called you to something spectacular, something that is beyond your reach. It's when you're nerve-vited, you know you're a little bit nervous and you're a little bit excited.

Jen Rogers : 8:43

I promised at the beginning that we'd look at what you're running towards Before we do. Here's where we snag those journals and write down those things we are dissatisfied with. If you're a woman on the move, then press the pause button and say a few of these things out loud. What are you dissatisfied with? Is it connection time with your family? Perhaps you're unhappy in your current job? Maybe you're wanting to move into a bigger house because you really want to park your car in the garage during those cold winter months or rainy seasons?

Jen Rogers : 9:17

Ever looked at a menu in the restaurant and you couldn't decide on a meal. Your husband asks what about salmon? You say no, not that. He asks how about starting with an appetizer? And you say, oh, I don't know, I think I'll pass. You're actually going through a process of elimination and you're getting closer to realizing what you do want. Perhaps that ribeye steak, medium rare, with raw horseradish on the side? That might be good. When you identify what you don't like, that gives clarity on what you do like, on what you do want. This is vision as a noun, it's your faith statement. Take a moment to think on this. What statement do you want to make? What do you believe in even though you can't see it?

Jen Rogers : 10:04

Next up is vision as an action. For me, I want to speak on 20 stages this year. So far, I've been booked on three. What specific things can I do in the next 24 to 48 hours to really move the needle? I can check my project tracking pipeline to see who I need to contact. Next, I could work on a speech and although that seems like it would be in line with action taking to get booked on stages, there's truly no point in writing a speech when I don't have a gig booked. Does that make sense? I want to pick something that's really going to move the needle, not help me procrastinate from doing that next thing that really needs to get done. For now I can take that next action step in my pipeline. What's your next action step you can complete within 48 hours to move the needle towards your vision becoming fact. Take a few moments to write about that and, if necessary, press that pause button.

Jen Rogers : 11:02

All right, we talked about vision as a noun, vision as a verb in action and finally, vision as a noun, vision as a verb in action and finally, vision as a challenge. What is it about this challenge that creates nervousness for you? Where does the excitement come in? In my example of speaking on stages, there's some fear of not meeting my goal. I seldom rejoice in this thought. I can't wait to see what I learn along the way, even if my vision doesn't fully come into my preferred timeline into being. How about you? What fears do you have related to that vision?

Jen Rogers : 11:36

As you think on your visionary challenge, who are some of your who's you might need to move forward? Do you need a prayer partner? Do you need an investor? Who do you need that has the skills you don't? That is a good fit to work on your vision. Take a brief moment to write down those names. If a specific person isn't coming to mind, think about the specific skill set you're looking for. Just like Dan Sullivan authored who, not how, he looked for the co-author to put his ideas into this very helpful book, he needed a writing synthesizer. Next up, what excites you about the vision? Perhaps it's the people you'll meet. It could be the peace you'll experience in your home once you get through this tough time. It could be the financial rewards you'll earn through a promotion and what those funds will mean for you and your family.

Jen Rogers : 12:30

This vision is a challenge recognizes creating something new requires time and work, just as the creator of the world modeled for us. It also requires rest and reflection. I pray as you take time out for the dreams God has placed on your heart. You implement the powers of generating ideas, journaling, praying and taking micro action steps. If you are struggling with knowing what you want, it's okay. Just take a little bit of time to breathe in and breathe out and relax and give yourself permission to think. When we're put on the spot, sometimes it can feel overwhelming and it can feel a little bit confusing and we may even get a little embarrassed because we think we should know what we want, even though we don't, at least not in this moment, and that's okay. Carve out time on your calendar to revisit vision as a noun, vision as a verb and vision as a challenge. You can do this If you're looking for a who I happen to know, a woman who can help Me, that is, if you're looking for a professional coach to partner with, to help you build out your big dream, to help you bring your vision to fruition. If you're interested in working together, head on over to stepfamilypodcastcom. Forward slash work with Jen Sweet, woman of God.

Jen Rogers : 14:00

I want to thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this episode. This episode is for you. It's your permission slip to dream big. G o ahead! D ream big. God has placed these special things on your heart and you're the only one. It's you, it's yours, it's your call. I pray you honor the call. All right, God bless you. I'll catch you in the next episode.