194 \\ Stuck Between A Rock and A Hard Spot, Stepmom? How to Close the Belief Gap in 3 Simple Steps + Bonus Strategy
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Eliana slumped in her seat. Five minutes. Six minutes. Now seven. Then eight. Ten minutes. Then fifteen. She was nowhere close to being ready to put the car in drive and pull into her garage. She was hurt. Confused. Ashamed. There was no one who understood.
How could she possibly endure another evening of rejection, of being talked about right in front of her as if she wasn't there, of experiencing the hurt of a husband who prioritized his children over their marriage?
Can you relate to Eliana? I know there are many women inside our private community who can. Here's a sweet new friend who shared, I work as a nurse practitioner specializing in heart valve replacement. I excel at mending people's hearts literally and helping them regain their health, freedom and independence.
But when it comes to mending the conflict and animosity that arises within our blended family, I feel like I'm in a rut and struggling to make improvements.
Nurse practitioners aren't the only Stepmamas who feel like they're in a rut and struggling to make improvements.
It's so odd. This inverse dynamic of I'm sophisticated and savvy. I'm appreciated. I'm confident. And I wield authority outside of my home, inside my work, my profession, my entrepreneurship, but inside my home, I feel less than. Rejected, disappointed, confused, and I have zero authority.
If you are ready to escape the rut, to stop the struggling and make improvements in the intimacy of the connections with the people inside your blended family, you are in the right place. Listen: loneliness, it's one of the number one pain points that stepmoms experience as they blend families.
Think about your level of loneliness right now. On a scale of low to high, where are you? Where do you long to be? I know that may sound like a silly question. It's important that we take the time to think about where we are and where we want to be. So on a scale of low to high, related to loneliness, where do you long to be?
Are you ready to become authentically joy-filled? It starts with you saying yes to you. It's time for you to launch a whole new level of confidence as a stepmom. Are you ready to kick loneliness to the curb? It all starts with the belief that you can.
As Michelle Schaefer, network marketer, master trainer, and multiple seven figure earner shares in her book, The Residual Life, if your belief waivers, then you cannot speak to others with authentic confidence about why this is the answer they have been praying for.
If I were to restate that applicable to you and me as stepmoms, I would say if your belief waivers in your role, in your confidence and your competence as a stepmom, then you cannot speak to others with authentic confidence about why it is that you are the right woman for this family.
Why it is that you are indeed the answer to prayer.
In today's episode, number 194, you will learn three things you can do to build your belief muscles. And you'll also learn how you can accelerate your muscle growth when we partner together.
My mission on the empowered stepmom podcast is to equip you with a confidence, prowess and expert strategies you need to take your power back and reclaim your joy in your family and truthfully in your entire life! A confident stepmama is a force to be reckoned with.
Hi there. I'm Jen Rogers, your hostess with the mostest ,certified professional life coach, step mama survivor and thriver, chief encourager and professional speaker. I bridge the belief gaps.
What are the belief gaps? Well, those are those holy spaces in between your own phases of belief. So when you first start out, you've got a tremendous belief that love and that knowledge gleaned from your experiential failures is going to bridge the gap to get to the point of where you long to be as a family.
The thing is, that tremendous belief turns into gut-wrenching loneliness as the joy of a second chance feels like it's been stolen. In those hard yet possible spaces in the sanctifying journey of women taking back their control and reclaiming their joy, not only as a stepmom, but as a woman after God's own heart, I'll hold space for your doubts.
I'll hold space for your loneliness. I'll hold space on this sanctifying journey for your fears. And when you can't believe anything will ever change, I'll lovingly yet firmly remind you that all things are possible with God. I'll remind you that all things stepfamily are possible with God. My mission is to fight for you, Stepmama.
I will stand powerfully and confidently in your belief gap. I will remind you of not only whose you are, but what you are created for. You are the anointed and appointed woman for the family you are in.
Your name was identified before the foundation of the world. Your role as a stepmom is not a surprise to the creator of the universe. he knows your hurt. If you're tired of experiencing loneliness, exhaustion, and burnout from rejection in your own home, I can help.
I'm looking for fast action takers, founding members, 12 disciples, to be exact, who are tired of slumping in their cars on the side of the road, staring at their driveway, afraid to go in. Enroll now: Stepfamilypodcast.com/Academy
If that's you, if you are ready to take back your power fast, you'll find powerful solutions that work inside the Empowered Stepmom Academy.
Are you ready to stand tall and reclaim dominion in your own home? Good. I am here for it. Head on over to Stepfamilypodcast.com/Academy
. A C A D E M Y Stepfamilypodcast.com/Academy
to take the first step. The first cohort begins October 26th. PS, listen to the entire episode to learn how you can save big on enrollment this week only.
All right. Hey, I am so honored that you are here in this sacred space.
You are listening to The Empowered Stepmom Podcast
Welcome to episode 194. All right, let's get to it.
How do you build your belief muscles and how can you accelerate your muscle growth when we partner together? Well, let's start at the beginning, shall we? Let's start with number one, the number one thing that you can do to build your belief muscles is this:
You must believe! Even though your feelings don't line up, even though your emotions don't line up, even though you're freaking out, sitting across the street in the car thinking, I don't want to go in. You must believe in what you cannot see. You see, that is faith, isn't it? You must believe that God knows exactly where you are right now.
And he has called you to a very important mission. And let me remind you that this mission, according to Ephesians 6:12 is not against flesh and blood. It's against the rulers, the authorities against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. That's why it is so ding dang hard.
And that is why we need each other inside the community to encourage, to spur one another, to take action that is God honoring even when our own flesh and blood is screaming out that it's so unfair. There's a lot of things in this life that are unfair. It does not change that the number one thing, where you can start, in building your belief muscles is to practice believing.
You can write out some affirmations. You can read scripture. You can pray to God. You can do all of these things to help you build your belief muscle; but you must do it. No one else can do it for you. And let's face it, when we are walking around and we're shrinking, that is.
emanating from us. The lack of confidence. Look, kids, they are super smart. They've got their radar on and they know. And when we respond in a way that lacks confidence, they know it and they do not have the emotional maturity to Not take advantage of that. Look, they're out to get whatever it is that they are out to get, whatever it is that they need.
They may need you to love them, but they are unwilling to show you, tell you, share with you that they want you to keep doing what you're doing because they're struggling with a loyalty issue with their biological parents or perhaps they are caught up in the snare of parental alienation and they don't know how to love you because they've been told it's not even okay to like you.
These are things that you can understand on a level that your kids simply cannot. So put your big girl britches on and build up your belief muscle by remembering that your struggle is against demonic forces. Satan is Definitely against the family. If we have not caught on to that by now, we're just simply not paying attention.
it is critical that we steward our responsibility as stepmoms that God has entrusted to us in a way that is God honoring even when our kids are not. So You must believe in what you cannot see. You must believe that God knows exactly where you are right now.
That's number one. Okay. Number two.
Number two takes me back to 2018. I remember sitting outside on the patio with my husband. And we were reading the Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. If you have not read that book, I highly recommend it. It's so encouraging. And it also is challenging. There were many books that we read that you could say fall into the self-help category.
whenever I read a book, it is with a curious,
I'm going to say that with a curious eye, and I'm asking myself, how does this align with God's word? Because there are many self-help books out there that simply do not align with the truth of God's word. So it's important that whatever we're listening to, whatever we're reading, that we exercise discernment.
And so we did. As we read these books that challenged us, I remember reading Robin Sharma, the 5 a. m. club. That's a fantastic story in there. A fantastic read about really miracle mornings that Hal Elrod also talks about. And that is when my husband and I, back in 2018 and since then have initiated the 5 a. m.
club. Now, Robin Sharma will preach and teach that it takes 66 days to build a habit. And you will hear that on the podcast here. I mentioned that regularly enough because I am a habit guru. I know we must do those things that we don't necessarily like to do to instill discipline, to get better, to get stronger.
So getting stronger, getting better. It doesn't mean that we necessarily like the work that is required. There's a whole lot of suck in the work. But it is the outcome that we are after. And so it's important that we have this mindset of, okay, there are things that will happen that I don't particularly enjoy that I'd rather skip if I could, but they are essential.
I share all of that with you because that is related to number two. And number two is study successful people who have gone before you. I am one of those successful people. I have gone before you on this stepmom journey. If you're new to the stepmom journey, I have about 10 years in and I know that I know that I know that in the beginning, that sweet, sweet, precious phase, it goes away -- FAST!.
Because reality strikes and busyness sets in and there's a lot of hurt emotions. There's a lot of screaming, a lot of yelling, a lot of withdrawing, a lot of sitting outside in your car like Eliana. There's so much hurt that happens so quickly and that's without having a toxic ex family member involved.
Okay. That's just the norms of people coming together because people are, well, People, and we like what we like the way that we like it, and we don't like when people infringe upon the things that we like to do. When we blend families together, it feels like a lot of infringement. So it's important to make powerful decisions upfront.
If you are still staring at that sparkly, shiny wedding ring or engagement ring that is on your finger and it feels so good and you're so excited about your future, I want to help you keep that feeling. I want you to decide that you are going to focus on the joy that this commitment has brought to you and that regardless of what's going to come, you are going to hold on to the belief that God intentionally put you in this family because you are deciding to build your belief muscles in step two by studying successful people and what they have done to get unstuck, what they have done to propel themselves forward.
You can save yourself a whole lot of steps when you study what successful people have done before you. The question is, will you take the time to do it? that all comes down to a decision that we are going to carve out time for study to get equipped in a role that we have never had before.
Even if you've been a stepmom, okay, you haven't been a stepmom in this family, so it's new and there are definitely skills and experiences that you can draw from. And there are a lot of things that you can still learn. So if you want to avoid taking the long cut, which is the joke in our house that we often take the long cut, not on purpose.
We take the wrong turn or we get distracted when we're driving and we go out of our way instead of taking the long cut, stick with me. Let's stay on the shortcut. Okay? I promise we can do the shortcut. All right, that's number two.
Listen, earlier on, I promised that I would put inside this episode how you can take advantage of a fantastic sale at the Stepmom Academy.
It is easy peasy. And you know, I like easy peasy. Let's get where we're going fast. Head on over to Stepfamilypodcast.com/Academy
and you will see the price is slashed 40%. This is an awesome deal for you. That is when you choose the full pay option.
Now, I know that there are some of us who prefer to plan and break out the payments, which is totally cool.
I have a special option for you as well. you can save a hundred dollars off your first payment by using the code B E L I E F.
It is important that we hone in the importance of beliefs, that we practice believing what it is that we know that God has called us to.
So head on over to Stepfamilypodcast.com/Academy
and take advantage of the 40% Off sale, and if you need the split pay option, take advantage of the $100 savings by using the code belief. And here's the sweet, sweet gift. the best part.
That's right off the top. Your first payment is really really small! It makes it a no brainer for you to say yes to you to get yourself inside this powerful community where you can get exactly where it is that God has called you to go and you can get there fast and you can get there Confidently and you can stop hanging out staring at your garage staring at your home Longing to go inside, longing for peace.
will, instead you will learn exactly how to create it regardless of the circumstances, regardless of how other people are behaving. I will teach you how you can take your power back. And reclaim your joy in your relationships and at home. Head on over to Stepfamilypodcast.com/Academy
and get signed up.
We start next week. Hey, this coupon, it expires on the 25th. So be sure that you head on over there and get enrolled into the Academy today. If you cannot make the live coaching calls, I've got you covered sis. I will record them and you will have access to the replays and so much more.
Be sure to take advantage of this incredible. I don't know when it's going to roll around again at these rates. This is the introductory rate. This is the looking for 12 powerful women who are ready to turn things on their head and reclaim power in their own homes. Is that you?
I pray that you say yes to you and I'm looking forward to seeing you inside of the Academy. I cannot wait for this to get started.
All right, let's get back to building our belief muscles. So I gave you two already. The first one is you must believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. You must believe in the promise that God has for you as the woman of influence in your blended family.
Number two, study successful people. Get discipled by successful people. And as I mentioned earlier, and as I've shared with you in the excitement over the Academy, that can happen when we work together inside of the Academy. All right. Are you ready to move on?
Let's go to number three on how we can build our belief Muscles. You've
heard this before. Yes, you have. You know what you need to do. I bet you know what you need to do. You need to implement. You need to take action because action is what brings clarity.
In today's episode, I have shared three ways for you to build your belief muscle. The thing is, this is one podcast episode of almost 200 now and the action that you could take, I suppose, is go listen to every podcast episode.
But I wonder, is there more powerful actions that you could take? The thing is, when we're reading or listening and doing nothing with what we're reading or listening to, then nothing really changes. Just as when Bill and I sat out on the patio and made a decision to implement the 5am club.
The decision is part of taking action, but you know where the rubber meets the road, don't you? Of course you do. the rubber meets the road when you get your sweet butt out of bed when the alarm clock goes off at 5 a. m. in the morning. One of the things I recall Robin Sharma saying is that it is, let's see, it's hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.
That's pretty good for me remembering that from five years ago. Hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end. If you are at the hard at first in your stepmom journey, it's time to move to the messy in the middle so you can get to the gorgeous at the end. You cannot go around it. You cannot go under it.
You cannot go over it. You must go through it. And if you choose to go through this alone, It will take you so long and your chances of success are significantly lower. If you do nothing else, get inside the Facebook group where there's encouragement and support from other women who are on this stepmom sanctification journey.
But you know what I'm going to tell you next, I'm going to say take additional action so you can say, I have this belief and I am believing God for the promises that he has for me. Remember, God has already prepared work in advance for you to do, and you're going to have to do the work. I invite you, I, I, I, I invite you, I exhort you to at least head on over to the Academy webpage.
And prayerfully discern whether or not this is your next best step because the actions that you're taking, if they're not working, then it's time to take some different action. It's time to invest in your peace of mind. It's time to elevate your confidence by learning the skills that you need by getting the how.
So I can talk to you about the what all day long and I can illustrate the how this is step one. And this is step two. And this is step three. But But your success rate will dwindle dramatically if you don't have an accountability buddy, if you're not inside a community of accountability. And that's what you get when you join the Academy.
So it is a six month sprint and there's so much learning that happens immediately where you will experience significant change. on the front end of our time together.
What's the reasoning behind six months? Well, it goes to what I mentioned earlier that it takes 66 days to build a habit and you're learning a lot of new things. So once you get going and get revved up, then you're going to be able to execute in a beautiful way and build on the skills that you're learning.
And learn from other women inside of the community. So it's time. It's definitely time. I've never done anything like this before. I pray, I pray, I pray, I pray that I see your beautiful name on the registration page.
And not only that, that I see you in a side of the Academy and see your beautiful face as we come together, to do the work that God has already prepared in advance for us to do so that we can take back our power, so that we can reclaim our joy in our relationships and at home.
It's up to you, Stepmama. If you've been waiting for just the right moment, this is that moment. This is just the right moment. You know, I don't know, I haven't counted off the days on the calendar, 66 days, but it is coming in right before Christmas. Ha ha. So, If you want the calm to avoid the storm before the holiday season,
Hey, your time. It's right now. Get on inside the Academy, stepfamilypodcast.com/Academy. As always, if you have any questions, concerns, comments, feedback. Email us at friends at stepfamilypodcast.com join us inside the Facebook community.
All the links for what you need are in the show notes. The number one link that you need is a link to join the Academy.
Hey, I want to thank you so much for joining me on the empowered stepmom podcast. If you've been hanging out in these parts for a while, thank you so much for your support. You are so appreciated. You are so treasured. Our mission here is to serve you.
If there is something that you're looking for, some question that you have or an area that you would like us to explore on the podcast, send us an email at friends@stepfamilypodcast.com . We've got several guests that are in the hopper to record. I anticipate that several powerful episodes with guests will be coming out in January and February of 2024.
If you can believe that, that we're heading in that direction already, but until then I'll be recording episodes here Flying solo to minister to your step mama heart. You are so loved and you are so cherished. If you are brand spanking new here, well, welcome.
I pray that episode number 194 Blessed your boots off in the words of my good friend, Tess Scott. You are loved and you are cherished. You are so, so special. this is a high, high, holy calling.
Don't do it alone. Okay.
If you're new to the community, well!! Jump in with both feet. Why not? Join us inside the Facebook community? And if you are ready. Ready, ready, ready to get started. Join us in the academy. If you're wondering if the academy is right for you
Read the testimonial section from the women who have experienced the power of empowerment coaching with me. It is, it is, well, it is such an honor to be able to spend time on your stepmama journey with you. And I thank you so much for allowing me into your earbuds and allowing me into a little piece of your heart as well.
And I pray that God blesses the work of your hands mightily. I pray that he surrounds your family with his heavenly angels of protection, that he gives you thoughts of him, that he redirects your focus to what he has already prepared in advance for you to do. And I pray that you are obedient and that you respond to his calling, not just on your role as a stepmom.
That's one aspect of who you are. You are so much more than what. People want to define you as in this role. God has so much more for you when you're stuck in the stepmama suck, it prevents you from having influence in every other area of your life. It's time for you to reclaim your influential position in your own home and in your life.
I pray you say yes to you. And I pray that you say yes to me and join me inside the Academy. All right, I will catch you next week.
xoox
Jen
